Why do we get angry?
Experiencing anger is an integral part of being human, so much so that there are scores of different words and expressions in every language to describe it.
Anger is a way for us to represent our views, to stake our space in the world and to keep oursleves safe. Getting angry is what we do when we are losing control of a situation. It can be a useful wake-up call.
How do you experience your anger? How do you show your anger? What happens when you do, and what happens when you don’t? Do you think you have an anger problem, or did someone tell you that they think you do?
What is problem anger?
Anger is not a problem in itself if:
- it is clearly a reaction to something
- it isn’t bigger than the situation that causes it
- it gradually loses intensity and then disappears
But If we don’t know where our anger comes from, if it is too big or too destructive or won’t go away, then we cannot make sense of it. If we cannot make sense of it then we cannot use it to learn about life and grow. This can seriously affect:
- our relationships
- our working lives
- our physical health
- our ability to lead meaningful lives
How can therapy and counselling help with problem anger?
In my London practice I have seen many people who experienced problems with their anger, be that in their relationships with their partner, their friends, families or colleagues at work.
The key to a successful treatment for problem anger is to help clients:
- to find out what the root causes of their anger are
- better to contain their emotions
- to read situations more easily
- to choose how to react
In my experience, psychotherapy and counselling are effective treatments for anger management: the best way to start managing anger is to make meaning of it.